Some of us turn to gurus to help us home. In the Hindu tradition, a distinction is made between two types: (1) sat-guru, and (2) upa-guru. A sat-guru is a realized master. She is the way. Amma and Neeb Karori Baba are said to be examples of sat-guru. An upa-guru is a door opener. They influence a shift in your consciousness. They show you some part of the way. Anyone-your mother, your cat, the homeless guy who tells you to get out of your head-can be an upa-guru.

When someone presents themselves as a sat-guru, or when we project sat-guru onto someone, we tread on dangerous ground. To be sure, some individuals are worthy of our devotion, but we have to be very careful. The legacy of the exploitative guru is a long one, and it has caused undue suffering.

There are many signs that we are dealing with an ungrounded and potentially untrustworthy spiritual teacher. For instance, they have one set of rules for you, one for them. They deny their unresolved issues. They see the body as substandard or entirely distinct from the soul. They reframe painful life experiences only in terms of spiritual learning. They see the world of emotions as illusion (except when it is convenient not to). They rely on their so-called purity as an excuse for not forming adult boundaries. They defend their behavior by reference to a higher knowing. If you complain about their actions, you are told that your complaints are emanating from the mundane world and that you just can't grasp their lens. They may also re-frame their own dysfunction in heightened terms ("I quit the world because I had a higher calling") rather than facing their shadow head-on ("I had too many issues to deal with the world"). A giant warning sign is the use of "the mirror" as a defense against wrongdoing. The guru claims that his (questionable) actions were not actually for his own benefit but done with the conscious intention of reflecting back to you the unresolved aspects of your own consciousness. If you felt betrayed, it was because you have issues around betrayal that you need to look at.

If we do choose to sit before someone, grounded spirituality demands that we check in as to our motivation. If we are lost in the perfection projection, we need to own that. If we are looking for the good father or mother, we need to own that too. In most cases, the guru is just a travel agent for the particular trip that helped him to become more aligned. With only rare exceptions, he cannot tell us our truth. He cannot tell us what to know. The most he can do is call out to our knowing and remind us of what we inherently knew all along. Anything else is usually a misappropriation of karmic funds. Be careful.

If we just see everyone as an upa-guru, then we can avoid many of the pitfalls that come with the sat-guru projection. Better yet, chase ourselves down the way we chase down the guru. See our own lives as guru. Sit before it as student and teacher. What a thing-to be teacher and student both!   

I went for a walk through a rainy Toronto park today, missing my Grandmother dearly. Bubbi endured all manner of difficulty in her life but she continued to model an open hearted way of being. Now that my heart is more open, I recognize how much courage that took. She left her body in 2005, off to join my Grandfather on a bed of golden light. How blessed I had been- 43 years of unconditional giving from this tenderling warrior, 98 pounds of pure love stoking me higher with every step. So many memories, so many back-rubs, and simple gifts, and over-cooked chicken, and rolled coins, and blankets quietly set down on top of me when I drifted off to sleep. And so much I don't remember, loving acts so subtle and so natural that I didn't notice, acts that gave me the strength to go on, pushing me along. Throughout my life, I carried her loving seeds within me, unknowingly growing them into sunflowers on the still murky trail. Only now do I see them, and appreciate the role she had played in watering me as I grew. I sat down in the rain, cold and contracted, shallowing my breath to avoid breathing into the memory of her loss. I sat there for some time, afraid to miss her, so afraid. But if my tenderling warrior taught me anything, she had taught me to go on, to feel everything and go on. So I breathed deeper, breathing reality in. And I soon felt it- Bubbi was gone. No, can't be, she's still here. I still have her messages saved on my answering machine. I breathed a little deeper. I saw her favorite chair, and she wasn't in it. I moved through her apartment in my minds' eye. No, wait don't do that. She's just out shopping. I breathed a little deeper. I saw the apartment. It was someone else's apartment now. That hurts... I resisted the pain, I felt it, I resisted it, I felt it. The cold rain was bouncing off my head. Terrible weather, I had every excuse to turn away from this inner quest and go home. But then the courage came, coaxing me to stay- my courage? or her internalized nudging- 'live in truth, Jeffrey, live in truth'. I began to breathe intensely, pushing the breath through my body, a depth charge on a heartfelt mission to excavate buried hurts. Then the soulevator dropped down another floor. The door opened and there it was. The heart-core truth- Bubbi is gone. No way out. The School of Heart Knocks had struck again. Goodness, how I hate to go to school some days. Yes, Bubbi is gone. I sat there for a long time, holding the tether to my pain as deeply as I could. Then the rain intensified- wild chaotic rain. Was (Grand)Mother Nature trying to tell me something? I kept at it, breathing like a wild man, staying with the feelings. And suddenly, there she was, in the torrents of rain cascading down my face, in the wind blown trees calling out her name, in the face of the elderly woman running past with her granddaughter. There she was, laying in wait at the centre of my rain-soaked being, a warm sweater and a pot of chicken soup at the ready, inextricably woven into everything that is, that was, that will be. There she was...close at heart, the reign of the Divine Mother pouring down upon me, whose breath is this anyway? Ma, ma, ma, ma.... I want to wish all Mothers everywhere a wonder-full, gentle and kind Mother's day. Mothers in every loving form. Whether you have children of your own, or help to take care of others' children, or simply bring a benevolent intentionality to those you encounter, may you have an opportunity to stop and acknowledge the impact you have had on the world around you. May you feel the love of the Divine Mother crashing down on your heartfelt shores, graciously lifting you up above the madness of the world, nestling you in the grateful arms of those you have nurtured. Those of us who have received your blessings may not always see and acknowledge it, but your acts of love have landed within us, growing us stronger and infusing us with love's light. The road to God goes through the open heart. May you take some time to soulebrate the courage it has taken to keep your hearts open in a challenging world. May you feel the love of the great Ma cast her eyes upon you the whole day through. I wish you all a perfect (Grand)Mother's day. Jai Ma!

With his permission, I want to share some of the highlights of a profound dialogue I just completed with Ram Dass, the brilliant author of 'Be Here Now'. Fantastic! I have been seeking to develop a model of Spirituality that somehow integrates the wisdom of the West with that of the East. That is, a model that weaves the Eastern quest for the Eternal with the Western quest for Emotional and Mental Health. A Soul-Ego bridge, if you will. Unity Consciousness meets Self-concept on a bridge across forever. I have become disenchanted with the models that emanate from the sky down, and have been seeking a model that works from the ground up. In writing Soulshaping, I brought myself some way down that road, but there remained areas of uncertainty. For example, I was confused about the seeming conflict between Ego and Soul-based models of development. In Western culture, we put tremendous emphasis on the development of the Ego. Feeling strong and well-integrated on an egoic level is considered a healthy step, necessary to our efforts to deal with the world confidently. Yet, I frequently meet individuals who see the Ego as the enemy of a truly spiritual life. They contend that if there is too much Ego, the gateway to a Soulular consciousness is impeded. Through this lens, the key to our spiritual advancement depends on the dissipation of the Ego and our capacity to move through our lives from the Soul outward. The way I have resolved this seeming tension is to imagine it all happening in steps. We begin with the Ego. We clear our shame, build our self-concept, assert our power. We become healthily boundaried- we know where we end, and where the other begins. Then we let our obsession with the self go and naturally begin to seek something vaster, a connection to our Soul's path and to the broader Universe: 'All one', 'I am that, too', etc. Ram Dass himself expressed this philosophy: "You have to become something before you become nothing..." But this isn't working for me anymore. If unity consciousness means anything, it means that everything is part of the ongoing equation. My intuition is that the Ego and the Soul are not actually as far apart as we imagine, at least not in 'the world as it ought to be.' Perhaps it is not the Ego that is the illusion, but our belief that the Ego is everything that is the illusion. The real issue is our difficulty linking the Ego's function to our ultimate transformation. At times, I see the Ego as the Soul's ongoing worker-bee, instigating and over-seeing the foundational work necessary to sustain our connection to Soul. The Ego clears the debris and manages the world so that the Soul's light can shine. At other times, I actually see the Ego and the Soul as indistinguishable. If you believe (as I do) that we come into each life with particular lessons and callings, then does the current state of the Ego not reflect the current stage of the Soul? For example, if one of my lessons is the healing of my Mother wound, does not my fragmented Ego with respect to this issue reflect the as yet unformed shape of my Soul? Ego-shape = Soulshape? Hmm... Ram Dass and I discussed this. I played Ego's Advocate, Ram Dass-Soul's Advocate. Ram Dass acknowledged some responsibility with respect to the perceived Ego-Soul split in the West . When he wrote 'Be Here Now', he was reacting against the Egoic nature of Western Culture- the materialism, the headiness, the marked disconnect from a Soulular Consciousness. We were identifying ourselves as our Ego rather than understanding the Ego as our vehicle for spiritual transformation. His calling demanded that he put the Soul's journey front and centre, in order to help bring us into alignment. We needed a strong shot of Soul to wake us up. But now, 35 years later, I believe we need a more integrated approach. Ram Dass didn't agree with my contention that the Soul and the Ego are indistinguishable ('They are two planes of Consciousness'), but he did agree that they are not naturally anti-thetical. There are times when they are in opposition -God knows!- but they are also complimentary and intrinsic to each other's functions when we are moving through our lives in a conscious manner. Through this lens we interpret our personal traumas and challenges in terms of their ultimate lessons rather than through a narrowly psychological framework. Instead of dismissing the self as secondary to our spiritual path, we recognize that it reflects the exact incarnation material that we need to work through to grow spiritually. Our Soul expands when the EgoSelf processes and interprets the material on the Soul's behalf, converting our personality issues and experiences (the stuff of our incarnation) into the Grist for the Soul Mill at their source. Soul Food. So, we were in agreement, or thereabouts. But I was still confused. It all made sense on a conceptual level, but HOW does the Ego process the Grist? In my own experience, this has not been a cerebral process- I have never been able to transform my Soul's Consciousness through intellectual means. There had been moments of insight, to be sure, but they always seemed to emanate from the emotional body below: Felt experience ignited awareness. Every time I reached the next plateau in my consciousness, I got there by surrendering to and working through the emotional material generated by my experiences. I needed to submerge myself in the material (not drown in it...but dive into and through it!) to convert it. In Soulshaping, I refer to this process as "Cell your soul": the idea that the body is the karmic field where the Soul's lessons are harvested. In order to grow spiritually, we must bring our suffering and our joy through the cells of our bodies until our spiritual lessons are birthed. Repressed emotions are unactualized spiritual lessons. To grow spiritually, we have to see our feelings all the way through to completion. Once they make it all the way through the conversion tunnel, the lesson is revealed and the Soul evolves to its next stage. We worked with an example from my own life. Some years ago, I attended a holotrophic breath workshop with Stan Grof. There, I tapped into a childhood memory of being pinned down (symbolically) by my Mother, the sense that she was always on my back. As the breathwork intensified, I felt the need to simulate this in physical form. I asked the assistants to lay on top of my back, and I repeatedly threw them off of me. It was a profoundly cathartic emotional experience- (semi) free at last! - and created enough space inside for me to then open to the next plateau of spiritual awareness. Psych and spirit inextricably linked. Grist for the Soul Mill in action. I have discussed this experience with many Seekers. Many suggested that I was wasting my time getting lost in my material. It was Egoic, self-centered, narcissistic. Some said that I needed to simply forgive the past, let it go, focus on the light. Others contended that the trick to spiritual transformation is to bypass the incarnation material, to see my personal issues and memories as distinct from our ultimate transformation. But where is the Grist that transforms us, if not in our daily lives? What does it mean to love the world, if your heart is filled with unresolved anger? What does it mean to be in the moment, if you continue to feel obstructed by the past? Ram Dass was much more balanced about it. He agreed that the body is the Soul's temple. We live our incarnation material through our bodies, and when we are done, our Soul moves on to the next birth. But he was resistant to the idea that working our material through requires therapeutic process. He was wisely concerned about our tendency to get lost in our emotional material, to wallow in the psychological without making spiritual progress. Fair enough. It's a fine line between self-pity and a healthy working through of the material. At the same time, I am not sure how we can shape our soul to the next stage, if we don�t deal with the emotional material that emanates from our experiences. What else grows us from the ground up? By the end of our talk, our perspectives were close. I was a little right of Soul, Ram Dass was a little left of Ego. But close. It seemed to me that the meeting place is somewhere inclusive, something I called ENREALMENT in Soulshaping: "The idea that a more "heightened" consciousness is not all about the light (as enlightenment implies) but is about becoming more real, more genuinely here in all respects: shadow and light, earth and sky, grocery list and unity consciousness. It is about living in all aspects of reality simultaneously rather than only those realms that feel the most comfortable." In other words, if you think that the stuff of your incarnation is all that you are ("I am sweeper, I am Lawyer, I am unhappy person"), then it is all that you are. But if you stay connected to the fact that your stuff has both a localized and a universal dimension, you are on the right path. Not identifying ourselves as our stuff, but identifying our stuff as the key to our transformation. At the heart of 'Enrealment' is a vision of a human being that ascends with both feet on the ground. We grow by coming down into our body and our personhood and learning the lessons necessary for our expansion. We begin with the root chakra- the quest for Om begins at home- and we work our way up from there. It is not enough for our feet to merely skim the ground. The mythic life begins with our feet planted on Mother Earth. With our soles firmly planted, our Soul has a leg to stand on in its efforts to go higher. Once the root chakra is satisfied, we proceed to the next chakras. As we heal, there emerges a natural and sustainable movement upward, towards God. This philosophy bridges the Eastern emphasis on the Soul with the Western emphasis on psychological health. Alexander Lowen meets Neem Karoli Baba, Localized lens meets Archetypal Wave, Sole meets Soul on sacred footpaths. ALL one. (Soul)food for thought...

I have a Warrior to thank. An inner Warrior with a benevolent intention.

Near the beginning of my journey of awakening, I recognized that my challenge in this lifetime was to stretch my way of being beyond its aggressive comfort zone. Throughout childhood and beyond, I had relied on my Warrior spirit to deal with the world before me. That spirit permeated my adaptations and disguises, my daily interactions and love relationships, my call to become a criminal trial lawyer. War was my habitual range of e-motion. I ate the war game for breakfast.

But then something happened. After an extraordinary apprenticeship with a brilliant criminal lawyer (fellow Warrior Eddie Greenspan), I went to Turkey on a last vacation before opening my own practice. There, I was awakened to and reminded of other pathways of possibility, other versions of Jeff longing to take up space inside of me, pushing at my soul seams. I came home to a spiritual emergingcy- the state of confusion and inner tumult that one experiences when a spiritual path is pushing its way into consciousness, prior to its full emergence and integration. Amid the outcries of my angry Warrior, I procrastinated the decision to practice law. Over time, I recognized that my challenge in this lifetime was to make a radical transformation in my soul consciousness. After many lifetimes as the archetypal Warrior-the call to arms- the scripture in this lifetime was to soul stretch into a more surrendered and loving way of being-the call to disarm. A new Soulshape, one with a white flag at its centre....

As part of the journey home, I disdained the Warrior within at every turn. I disparaged his driven nature, his narrow minded focus, his macho ways of being. I saw his armor as my primary obstacle, an anger encrusted distraction from true-path. In my efforts to embody a more heartfelt way of being, I needed to distance myself from the battlefields I knew best.

But I missed the point. Towards the end of writing Soulshaping, I recognized that I had misunderstood the nature of this process. Old Soulshapes don't fade away. They just get pushed aside as the new forms come into being. When the new form concretizes, the old forms rise back into awareness. Where before the Warrior and Healer archetypes appeared to be flowing in disparate directions, they were now revealed as inextricable branches of the same waterway. On the River of Essence, everything flows in the same direction- towards the Ocean of Wholeness. At some point, the assertive and the surrendered become indistinguishable.

Since that time, my respect for the Warrior within has deepened. Who pushed me to overcome my miserable childhood? Who stood his ground in the face of tyrannical parents? Who pushed me to door knock my way through University? Who motivated me to clear my emotional debris and excavate my callings? Who got me through the writing of Soulshaping amid tremendous economic pressure? Who is energizing me to write this blog?

It is easy to miss the beauty of the Warrior spirit, particularly the traditional male warrior. We have given women so little to be proud of- misplaced aggression, power games, heartless destruction at every turn. Our history has been a perverse distortion of our spirited nature, an egoic cloud of dark and thunderous proportions. As a man, I am genuinely ashamed of what we have perpetrated in the name of the Warrior. I invite all men to acknowledge their complicity and to give extra kindness to the women in their lives. I ask the Divine Mother for forgiveness on our behalf.

At the same time, I bow down to the noble efforts we have made to create a better world. I honor my Grandfather, who risked his life in World War Two to protect the world I would be born into. I honor my Grandmother who held the family together under onerous circumstances. I honor the Warrior spirit that built the railroads, the cities, the bridges that bring us into contact with one another. I honor those who worked like dogs, who died in the trenches, who did everything they could to establish the foundation that I stand on in my efforts to go higher. But for them, this blog would not even enter my consciousness. I would be foraging through the brush, knife in hand, attempting to find food to feed my family and fuel my survival. Praise to those well intentioned Warriors who came before. Praise to the Divine Father.

As with everything we do, the key to our actions is the intention behind our actions. Intention, intention, intention. The Warrior is not the problem- the sourcespring is the problem: What is motivating our decision to act? Is our edge emanating from a soulful sourcespring or are we disconnected from the taproot? Are we making a conscious decision to assert ourselves or are we unconsciously directed? Are we fueled by congealed rage or a heightened intention? Civilized humans or barbaric beasts?

I think of the Warrior much like I think of the mind. When the mind's doings are directed by our highest intentions, it is a magnificent and constructive tool. One begins to think of ways to honor our callings and to elevate humanity. Yet when it is driven by primitive patterning and old tapes, it is self-destructive and soul-distractive. I remember when I first crossed over from poverty to a measure of material comfort in my life. Instead of shifting my mind's focus from survival to the next step in my evolution, I remained trapped in the worry mind, jumping from one neurotic tree top to another, fueled by the memory of prior realities. Although I objectively knew my life had changed, I didn't feel it, because I was still back there, trapped in the monkey mind and his fixation on survival. When I finally did feel the shift, I began to utilize my mind to actualize the next stage of my inner evolution, to express and humanifest my highest callings. It was all a question of where I was moving from.

To get to the world as it ought to be from the world as it is, we need the benevolent Warrior within. We need his energy and his focus to develop and utilize our inner tools. We need his clarifying sword to distinguish false-path from true-path. We need his courage to fight for our right to the light, to push us to adventure beyond our habitual range of e-motion and try other ways of being on for size. Like swashbucklers of the spirit, we bravely seek out any experience that might inform our path and determinedly participate in our own revealing. In Soulshaping, I call it shtuscle- inner muscle, the soul driven determination to overcome whatever obstacles come our way. Without shtuscle and lots of it, we're not getting home.

In 2009, I invite you to honor the benevolent Warrior that lives inside you. Acknowledge the ways he has already helped you to survive and reach this stage of your journey. Applaud his efforts to awaken you when you fall asleep. Give breath to his desire to take you higher up the Mountain of Consciousness. Honor the white flag at the heart of his feisty nature. The Dude loves you.

Happy New Year to Benevolent Warriors everywhere. There is much work to be done on sacred battlegrounds before we can evaporate into Essence. Souldier on....

We have just completed two short videos on You Tube that capture what is happening with Slim, the brilliant homeless man who is selling SOULSHAPING on the streets of Toronto. Since the attached video, he has created a special push cart for the books, signs that emphasize what he is doing, and he has attempted to create a buzz for his efforts in various parts of the city. He has also been highlited in a local newspaper. I have never seen someone so DETERMINED to improve his life conditions..

I want to share the You tube link to the story about Slim, the homeless man who is determinedly selling SOULSHAPING on the streets of Toronto. It is starting to get more and more interesting... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7WrcrbgmcY

There is also a part two of the film there. If it doesn't come up, search   Jeff Brown Homelessness   and you will see it...

Blessings, Soulshaper

Last week, Slim got more involved in his own re-building. He continued to sell a steady number of copies of Soulshaping, and then proclaimed that he wanted to begin selling one hundred books per day. It may seem a little unrealistic, but this soul is on fire...

One afternoon, we went downtown and went to lunch. I don't remember ever being thanked so sincerely by anyone after buying them a meal. No envy, no bitterness, nothing but gratitude. So concerned that I couldn't afford it. A class act from head to toe.

Then we got him a couple of sales shirts so that people will identify what he is doing from a distance. One of them reads "I, Slim, sell a great self-help book. Buying it helps you and helps me to re-build my life". It was a joint languaging effort, but I had the feeling that I was in the presence of a marketing genius.

A few days ago, I agreed to clear everything out of my rear shed so he could put his push-cart there. The bulky push-cart was interfering with his new plan- to rove around Toronto with a baby stroller that he found in the garbage, selling the book on busy summer streets. He plans to load the stroller up with books and attach some banners to it to attract attention. Brilliant, huh? Not something we might expect from a homeless dude, with our limited lens and judgments..

Two days ago, he told me (with burgeoning confidence..) to go to Mark's Work Warehouse to get a quality hoodie that he can wear on cold days and nights. Words of salesmanship were added to the front of the sweater, his name on the back..

Today was wonderful. I went up to the main street to look for him and found him at a Churrasco chicken outlet. I wasn't sure it was him at first, because the dude buying the chicken seemed super positive and confident. He could finally afford to buy a meal that he had earned through his own efforts. He came outside and told me that he had sold out of books today. I do not think in my life I have EVER seen a human being look so bloody happy. I mean truly ecstatic. His teeth glistening, his heart alight... He had finally put one of the sales shirts on- the bright red one with "I sell a great self-help book" in bold white letters on the front and back.

Then he retreated a little, smile went away, probably because he was afraid to trust it, afraid it might be taken away from him. I encouraged him to let himself feel good. His teeth started to show again.

Monday we are shooting a little mini-doc about what is happening with Slim. Such a mitzvah, such an upframe of my usual sensibilities, it has to be recorded. I feel like I am standing in the heart of something profound and transformative, something that has the capacity to expose our usual notions of separateness as mundane, and deeply misguided.

Now I am wondering why I don't spread this concept to homeless people world-wide. In fact, why aren't we all doing something to bring the homeless back into the fold? This took SO LITTLE in the way of energy on my part, and has helped this man so very much. Haven't you something in your home that you could give to someone to sell? Haven't you some errands that you can hand over? What can you do that is not simply charitable but that also invites a homeless person to PARTICIPATE in the marketplace and the web of human relatedness?

There must be something.

I had a remarkable experience today I want to share with you. It involved me and a homeless man named Slim.

For years, I have seen Slim pushing his cart around the area where I live in Toronto. It is a big cart, almost like a caravan, filled with all kinds of mysteries. Whenever I would sit down to talk with him, I was startled by the positive energy that came off him. His energy was positive, his eyes alight. As we talked, I would notice others walk by, often racing to work or home. I noticed the discrepancy between Slim's energy and theirs. He was so positive, they seemed dreary and worn. Yet he was the homeless one. Or was he?

As I was in the midst of writing a book about spiritual homelessness, my discussions with Slim always stoked the fire of my inquiries. When I finished Soulshaping, I added him to my gratitudes section. He had made a big difference. And there was something between us, something...

The other day, I sat and talked with Slim at Starbucks. He likes to hang out there, meeting and greeting all the people he knows. Somehow the idea emerged- Slim could sell Soulshaping. It seemed preposterous at first. I was met with my own judgments about the homeless- "they don't want to work", "they will rip you off", "they are crazy". But I remembered my prior images of how this book would move into the world. When I refused a contractual offer for Soulshaping last summer, one of the key issues was my ability to buy the book for my own purposes- website, grass roots etc. The publisher refused that - it would be their book, not mine. The deal fell through.

Although I had no clear idea of how this book would move on a grass roots level, something was brewing inside me. I wrote Soulshaping through a grass roots lens- by the people, for the people, I-people. It was not about money or egoic satisfaction. It was about honoring my soul's voice and simultaneously elevating the lives of others, reminding them of their Essence. It was fine to move the book through a traditional distribution system, but something else had to happen as well. I needed more options.

I went home and got Slim 5 books. I brought them to him, and went home to sleep. When I came back to see him the next day, the books had been sold. He placed an order for 11 more. He was very focused. I brought them to him, and then saw him later in the day. He had sold another 3. All the books he has yet to sell are wrapped up in protective plastic, wrapped up with pride, and so as to protect them from the rain that falls onto his push cart.

I had given Slim money many times. He had accepted it, but he never looked happy about it. Today he looked happy. He had earned something for himself again, and he relished it. He let me know how many he planned to sell in the coming months, and what his financial goals were. For many years Slim has been studying the stock market. I called him "the push-cart guru." He seemed to know a tremendous amount about investing in the money markets. Now, instead of dreaming about it, he has a way to bring it on home.

After years of spiritual labor, I am delighted to stumble upon a situation that seems spiritually uplifted in every way. The book gets to those who resonate with it. I gain the satisfaction of honoring my calling by helping others. And my "St. Clair Avenue distributor" has a chance to re-build his self-esteem and save for a better reality. Wonder-full.

There is much learning here for all of us. First, let it not be said that homeless people don't want to work. Perhaps some are not in a state to do so, but many of them are and many of them want to. They just need an opportunity and someone who believes in them. They just need a gig. We should all start thinking about how we can provide them with that opportunity, however simple or humble it may be. Isn't that what unity consciousness is all about? Isn't that what it means to be non-separate? Second, this experience confirmed my own belief in basic human connectiveness. When we are left to our own devices, we are limited in our resources. Those eight books would still be sitting in a box if Slim and I had not connected. Instead, they have landed in the hands of those who need them because we crossed the barrier and made a human connection. We all need each other, and we all have something to offer, however simple it may be. Third, those of us who are on a spiritual path often get lost in the quest for egolessness. But we must also remember that there is a lot to say for self-esteem. The Eastern Quest for Oneness must be woven into the Western Quest for emotional health and self-love. Buddhists say "you have to become something before you becoming nothing....". In simple terms, this means that before we can evaporate into oneness, we have to build ourselves up. Handing Slim money may keep him alive, but giving him back his self-esteem is the key to his future.

Now I will turn my attention to finding ways to get this book into the hands of other homeless people, or individuals who are in difficult circumstances. If any of you have any suggestions, I invite you them to share them with me.

Today, everything looks perfect.

Soulshaping is a 'SOLE TO SOUL' philosophy. It is about grounded spirituality. It is about living in our bodies and ascending to God organically. It is about honoring our personal identity and our physical form as not simply the 'vessel' for the soul, but as the embodiment of the soul.

Soulshaping is not a detachment model. It is not a spiritual bypass model in any way, shape, or form. The spiritual bypass is the tendency to jump to spirit prematurely, usually in an effort to avoid difficult aspects of earthly reality. These realities can come in many forms: emotional discomfort, unresolved trauma, economic pressure..

In a world of pain, the spiritual bypass is an ongoing temptation. It gives us something to believe in, and a vision of what we are missing in our localized realities. It gives us an opportunity to catch our breath, to find our breath, to touch the sky. Without it, many of us would have to suffer unbearable situations and never recognize that there is another way of being available to us. We have to be compassionate towards our need to bypass in this difficult world.

At the same time, it can be a real detour on the path to genuine spirituality. In our efforts to leapfrog to something better, we often avoid something crucial. We think we have found bliss until we come back into relationship where our stuff is still waiting for us. By turning away from old pain, we have simply shackled ourselves with our unresolveds. Spirit has become a crutch rather than an expression of a natural unfolding. The bypass may be a necessary tool for survival for a time, but real growth demands that we come back down to earth and face our demons. We have to grow down, to grow up.

The Soulshaper understands that "spirituality" is just another word for reality. The most spiritual person lives in ALL aspects of reality simultaneously- the material, subtle, emotional etc.

The soulshaper strives to ASCEND WITH BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND. This is the idea that our ascension to the Godself can only be sustained if it is an embodied unfolding from the ground up. We begin with the root chakra -the quest for OM begins at home- and we work our way up from there. It is not enough for our feet to merely skim the ground. The mythic life begins with our feet planted on Mother Earth. With our soles firmly planted, our soul has a leg to stand on in its efforts to go higher.

In real terms, this means being aware of our practical needs. This means feeling our connection to the world around us. This means bringing the quest for the eternal that is intrinsic to the east together with the quest for mental health intrinsic to the west- earth and sky, shadow and light, grocery list and unity consciousness, all at once!
This means learning how to enjoy our bodies as gardens of truth. This means calling ourselves on our detachment from our shadow. This means doing the often difficult work to clear our emotional debris and gain control over our relational patterns. We clear our emotional debris both because it creates space inside for our authentic self to emerge, but also because inherent in those feelings and memories are the lessons we need to grow in our spirituality. We can't shape our souls without karmic fodder, without grist for the soul mill. We must 'cell our soul', linking our spiritual ascension to the energetic material that we are holding in the cells of our body. God is not some detached construct. God is in our personhood. I-God.

As we work through our chakras, we become organically present in our bodies and in the moment. From this delightful presence emerges a natural and sustainable movement upward, toward God. Instead of settling for the occasional enlightenment moment, we are now capable of a more enlightened way of being. One we can actually sustain. One we can actually ground into. From sole to soul...

Moving forward often demands that we live lost, knowingly surrendering our attachment to who we think we are, voluntarily stumbling around in the dark with little to guide us. Growing is all about leaps into the seeming unknown.

If there was one skill that I could not have done without on the journey of transformation, it was my (learned) capacity to befriend my confusion. As certain parts died, other parts invariably came to life. Before the transition was complete, there was a time, often a long time, when all of these parts were pressing up against me at the same time. In Soulshaping, I refer to this in-between phase as a "spiritual emergingcy"- that state of confusion and inner tumult that arises when a new pathway is forcing its way into consciousness, prior to its full emergence and integration. The bridge from one side to the other is confusion. You have to learn how to hold the space for all of your parts simultaneously and befriend your confusion, until clarity emerges on its own terms.

Unfortunately, befriending our confusion is difficult to hold to in a linear world. Those that walk the path of uncertainty are frequently characterized as flakes, drifters, and, ironically, lost souls. Nowhere in society are we taught to distinguish growth-full from aimless confusion, madness from truth aches, nervous breakdowns from nervous breakthroughs, habitual crisis from spiritual emergingcies. Confusion is sadly stigmatized as the mark of the "loser" without regard for the fact that one cannot come to know anything without first surrendering to the not knowing.

Our state of confusion often arises in the context of careers and relationships: Why do I hate my job? What are my callings? Who do I love? When we begin questioning our choices, many resistant voices float to the surface- the voices of habit and fear, internalized judgments, well-entrenched defenses. These voices reflect the survivalist stage of the collective unconscious and the world. Although progress has been made on many levels, most of us are still making our primary choices as to path through a survivalist lens, with a vigilant eye to what is most practical, safe and materially satisfying.

When we step out of this framework, when we make a move toward a more soul-full idea of success, we are opening the door to confusion, at least at first. The voices of the world arise within us in an effort to sweep away the whispers of a deeper truth. The desire to quit our unfulfilling job and find our callings is met with neurotic images of poverty. The longing to find a genuine soul-mate is overwhelmed with images of eternal aloneness. And then we are confronted with a choice- turn back to familiar harbors, or let the inner battle wage. Play it safe, or see it through...

Seeing it through is no easy feat. You will need support. You will have to be determined. You will need to work hard to identify the voices that are attempting to obstruct your transition. They will come in many difficult and credible forms, often disguised as your friends. You will have to patiently expand your capacity to sit in the 'not knowing' in ways that nobody ever taught you. And you may even have to hold to a state that feels a little mad now and then, as different aspects of your inner world come into conflict. You will have to become an expert at surrender.

But if you can see it all the way through, you will be rewarded. You will know a measure of soul-satisfaction that you will never know on a false path. You will see through different eyes and feel at peace in your soul-skin. You will not have to ask the universe for what you need because the door to humanifestation will open wide as the universe rewards you for your courage. You will know a remarkably enriched reality.

In the words of my dear friend and guide, Little Missy, "Welcome your confusion as a friend who has come from far away to bring you home. Be open to it. Keep it close."